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Eve Drewelowe's journals, volumes II-III, 1950s
Page 168
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There are no finer physicians than those I have - in fact to my mind they are even the superior minds at the clinic which is renowned for its excelling doctors and surgeons. To these magnificent physicians may be attributed much of my self assurance of lately; much of my belief in my own faculties and in my abilities as a painter. Inadvertently, unintentionally, perhaps otherwise; they have been instrumental in increasing the knowledge of myself and thereby multiplying my self-confidence. They have intimated time and time again that I am the kind of people to whom accomplishment in the world may be attributed. Why my kind of people? I know I am not like other organisms, for I react differently to stimuli than do they. However, I know I can paint. Why any kind of people? Shall I try to determine more fully what is meant by that statement? Is it possibly the tense, nervous, highly-strung, sensitive organism, the bio-chemistry of which as ordained me to be a painter? Is it furthermore the unperdictable, contrary, incongruous, arbretrary, highly-geared and highly-powered racehorse type that is bolting ever eagerly to do things?The type that is quick but not particularly fitted to endurance. The kind that is impatient of nature and interruption, but meticulous with exacting detail that it finds interesting and therefore absorbing. The kind that achieves excitement of itself. My kind of people indeed. This is a subtle method, unmistakably, to create a faith, a belief in myself and in my powers. This, the staff that had to compensate for so many things, so much futile stirring around in a circle. In conclusion, I may add, that people who do make the world revolve and evolve are not those who take things for granted, but those who are alive on their own to stimuli. They quickly discern and seize new implications from thread-
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There are no finer physicians than those I have - in fact to my mind they are even the superior minds at the clinic which is renowned for its excelling doctors and surgeons. To these magnificent physicians may be attributed much of my self assurance of lately; much of my belief in my own faculties and in my abilities as a painter. Inadvertently, unintentionally, perhaps otherwise; they have been instrumental in increasing the knowledge of myself and thereby multiplying my self-confidence. They have intimated time and time again that I am the kind of people to whom accomplishment in the world may be attributed. Why my kind of people? I know I am not like other organisms, for I react differently to stimuli than do they. However, I know I can paint. Why any kind of people? Shall I try to determine more fully what is meant by that statement? Is it possibly the tense, nervous, highly-strung, sensitive organism, the bio-chemistry of which as ordained me to be a painter? Is it furthermore the unperdictable, contrary, incongruous, arbretrary, highly-geared and highly-powered racehorse type that is bolting ever eagerly to do things?The type that is quick but not particularly fitted to endurance. The kind that is impatient of nature and interruption, but meticulous with exacting detail that it finds interesting and therefore absorbing. The kind that achieves excitement of itself. My kind of people indeed. This is a subtle method, unmistakably, to create a faith, a belief in myself and in my powers. This, the staff that had to compensate for so many things, so much futile stirring around in a circle. In conclusion, I may add, that people who do make the world revolve and evolve are not those who take things for granted, but those who are alive on their own to stimuli. They quickly discern and seize new implications from thread-
Iowa Women’s Lives: Letters and Diaries
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