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James B. Weaver letters to Clara Vinson, 1856-1858
1856-08-25 Page 02
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you will not blame me for doing that which god has told me to do; you will not blame your best friend for loveing you when he Cannot help it; you will not blame me for believing that your destiny is my destiny; you will not chide me for believeing (for I am sincere, that our destinies are and ought to be forever linked. O no do not. for Clara, if your generous heart only knew just how I feel; only knew the withering agony that like a sullen blight has settled upon the realm of my prosperity; Could only Count the nights sleepless and dreary which I have passed through during the last eighteen months; Could only ascend to the eternal throne of god & there read recorded in the book of life the thousand prayers that have been offered up sincerely & in the fear of god by me for the removal of the barriers which wrongfully separate us; if you Could you only see me as I am, and have your mind really impressed with my Condition, & my sincerity & Could walk through the recesses of my troubled heart, & see its throbs & ful earnestness, you would say O I never knew you before, dear, dear friend
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you will not blame me for doing that which god has told me to do; you will not blame your best friend for loveing you when he Cannot help it; you will not blame me for believing that your destiny is my destiny; you will not chide me for believeing (for I am sincere, that our destinies are and ought to be forever linked. O no do not. for Clara, if your generous heart only knew just how I feel; only knew the withering agony that like a sullen blight has settled upon the realm of my prosperity; Could only Count the nights sleepless and dreary which I have passed through during the last eighteen months; Could only ascend to the eternal throne of god & there read recorded in the book of life the thousand prayers that have been offered up sincerely & in the fear of god by me for the removal of the barriers which wrongfully separate us; if you Could you only see me as I am, and have your mind really impressed with my Condition, & my sincerity & Could walk through the recesses of my troubled heart, & see its throbs & ful earnestness, you would say O I never knew you before, dear, dear friend
Civil War Diaries and Letters
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