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Le Zombie, whole no. 53, May-June 1943
Page 5
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c: The lovely corridors. Their walls will be papered with rejection slips and the say-nothing, inane letters the editors send to fans acknowledging receipt of lengthy praise or criticism. The carpeting in the corridors will be facsimilies of front covers of fanzines-that-never-appeared and other good intentions. Which eventually, leads us to: d: This is a short hallway leading to the rear of the building, and concealed by a secret panel. It is to be used only when the police raid the place. The rear exit is screened with juniper bushes; it is believed that neighbors will think nothing strange of two or three hundred fans suddenly plunging forth from some juniper bushes in furious bursts. e: The cool and inviting swimming pool. To further please the fans the bottom of the pool will be covered with Brundage nudes; while the sides will display Finlay and MacCauley murals of a highly interesting nature. At the deep end will be a single bug eyed monster to warn away inexperienced swimmers. f: The relaxing courtyard. Here will be found badminton courts, tennis diamonds, ping pong tables, dart, checker and chess boards, and marble rings. Flying of kites will not be permitted in the courtyard. g: The Shack library. Residential fans are invited to contribute all or parts of their private collections. Books and magazines may be borrowed for one cent per day; publications emanating from Chicago at one-half cent per day. Sexology magazines and erotic books will be admitted only after an Examining Board have removed the pictures. h: the mighty press room. Here will roll the half dozen mimeographs and two dozen hecto pans in a perpetual orgy of publishing. A thrice-weekly newspaper, the Slan Shack Shabboth, will be distributed free of charge to fandom. A branch postoffice will be located here. i. This tiny room, without doors or windows, is to be used for publishing fanzines that never appear, and for housing ambitious fans who desire to become Number One Fan in three weeks time. Rooms 1 thru 1o: The ten top fans (according to poll to be taken at that time) will occupy these rooms according to their popularity. It will be noted that the room size shrinks accordingly. In connection with this, two items are to be mentioned here: Room 1 has a private bath (j) which no other room has. This is an honor accorded only the nation's number one fan, whoever he may be . All others living in the building from number 2 down to 999 must use the swimming pool if they desire to bathe (which isn't thot likely.) Room 8 is separated from 9 by a smaller room, numbered 8 1/2 . This half-room will be assigned to the alter-ego of fan number eight. General Rules of Conduct 1. Rent (or per capita tax, whichever is collected, or both) is to be paid promptly the first of the month. Defaulters will be set to turning mimeograph cranks and stapling fanzines, and other menial jobs. 2. Visitors are allowed in rooms at respectable hours each day. However, no visiting will be allowed between 5:45 and 6:00 each morning so that residents may bet some sleep. Visitors of the opposite sex must be out of the building fifteen minutes earlier.
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c: The lovely corridors. Their walls will be papered with rejection slips and the say-nothing, inane letters the editors send to fans acknowledging receipt of lengthy praise or criticism. The carpeting in the corridors will be facsimilies of front covers of fanzines-that-never-appeared and other good intentions. Which eventually, leads us to: d: This is a short hallway leading to the rear of the building, and concealed by a secret panel. It is to be used only when the police raid the place. The rear exit is screened with juniper bushes; it is believed that neighbors will think nothing strange of two or three hundred fans suddenly plunging forth from some juniper bushes in furious bursts. e: The cool and inviting swimming pool. To further please the fans the bottom of the pool will be covered with Brundage nudes; while the sides will display Finlay and MacCauley murals of a highly interesting nature. At the deep end will be a single bug eyed monster to warn away inexperienced swimmers. f: The relaxing courtyard. Here will be found badminton courts, tennis diamonds, ping pong tables, dart, checker and chess boards, and marble rings. Flying of kites will not be permitted in the courtyard. g: The Shack library. Residential fans are invited to contribute all or parts of their private collections. Books and magazines may be borrowed for one cent per day; publications emanating from Chicago at one-half cent per day. Sexology magazines and erotic books will be admitted only after an Examining Board have removed the pictures. h: the mighty press room. Here will roll the half dozen mimeographs and two dozen hecto pans in a perpetual orgy of publishing. A thrice-weekly newspaper, the Slan Shack Shabboth, will be distributed free of charge to fandom. A branch postoffice will be located here. i. This tiny room, without doors or windows, is to be used for publishing fanzines that never appear, and for housing ambitious fans who desire to become Number One Fan in three weeks time. Rooms 1 thru 1o: The ten top fans (according to poll to be taken at that time) will occupy these rooms according to their popularity. It will be noted that the room size shrinks accordingly. In connection with this, two items are to be mentioned here: Room 1 has a private bath (j) which no other room has. This is an honor accorded only the nation's number one fan, whoever he may be . All others living in the building from number 2 down to 999 must use the swimming pool if they desire to bathe (which isn't thot likely.) Room 8 is separated from 9 by a smaller room, numbered 8 1/2 . This half-room will be assigned to the alter-ego of fan number eight. General Rules of Conduct 1. Rent (or per capita tax, whichever is collected, or both) is to be paid promptly the first of the month. Defaulters will be set to turning mimeograph cranks and stapling fanzines, and other menial jobs. 2. Visitors are allowed in rooms at respectable hours each day. However, no visiting will be allowed between 5:45 and 6:00 each morning so that residents may bet some sleep. Visitors of the opposite sex must be out of the building fifteen minutes earlier.
Hevelin Fanzines
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