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Snide, issue 1, May 1940
Page 7
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Via Totem Pole by Gordon A. Gillicutty Hello, [Earth?] [Hello?] is an English word of greeting, as early as we can remember. Jupiter Expedition Number One resuming contact with Earth, via etherline radio. Operator Millway at the keys. I will omit the usual paragraph about my ion charger, as I suppose you may have heard it so many times already you are sick of it. [illegible] we are all fine and wish you were here [illegible] heh-heh. That is a little joke we [illegible] saying we wish you were here. Heh-heh. [illegible] Well I suppose you will want to know first of all how we survived the past three years. My last message painted a pretty dark picture. The pigments here are terrible. The circumstances three years ago were as follows. The highly [methanaten?] air and tremendous gravity had combined to compress the metal of our food containers, so that we couldn't open them with the ice-pick, as had been our custom. Thus our food supply was cut off. What to do? We didn't know. Now, three years later, our problem is solved. Naturally, I won't tell you about that today. It would spoil the continuity. Instead, I will tell you about the life here on Jupiter. The natives are not very intelligent. In fact, we have yet to see one move, although we watch them night and day, in shifts. All of us, that is, except the shiftless ones
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Via Totem Pole by Gordon A. Gillicutty Hello, [Earth?] [Hello?] is an English word of greeting, as early as we can remember. Jupiter Expedition Number One resuming contact with Earth, via etherline radio. Operator Millway at the keys. I will omit the usual paragraph about my ion charger, as I suppose you may have heard it so many times already you are sick of it. [illegible] we are all fine and wish you were here [illegible] heh-heh. That is a little joke we [illegible] saying we wish you were here. Heh-heh. [illegible] Well I suppose you will want to know first of all how we survived the past three years. My last message painted a pretty dark picture. The pigments here are terrible. The circumstances three years ago were as follows. The highly [methanaten?] air and tremendous gravity had combined to compress the metal of our food containers, so that we couldn't open them with the ice-pick, as had been our custom. Thus our food supply was cut off. What to do? We didn't know. Now, three years later, our problem is solved. Naturally, I won't tell you about that today. It would spoil the continuity. Instead, I will tell you about the life here on Jupiter. The natives are not very intelligent. In fact, we have yet to see one move, although we watch them night and day, in shifts. All of us, that is, except the shiftless ones
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